The Old Name
........they never got the memo
I wouldn’t have agreed with this claim years ago.
We are allowed to change our minds about things we have outgrown. About people, opinions, versions of ourselves we used to defend without question. Growth demands grace, and grace is not always comfortable to give or to receive.
My friend and leader, Oluwatamilore Durojaiye, said something in a video that made me sit with this longer than I expected to. Here you go
Because here is what nobody tells you about seasons. They do not end with an announcement. They end quietly, and the harder part is what comes after.
What do you do when you have grown out of a season, especially when people around you refuse to let the old version of you go, even when you have moved so far ahead that your growth should be its own proof of repentance.
1. Let go of the past internally
You cannot make people see the growth. You can only stop performing the old version for their comfort. Let go quietly. Let go without announcement. The people who need proof were never going to accept it anyway.
2. Stop explaining yourself
Repentance does not need a press release. If you keep justifying who you used to be, you are still living there. Say what you need to say once, then live differently. Let your life do the rest of the talking.
3. Accept that some people will freeze you in time
This is the part that stings the most. Some people will always introduce you as who you were. They will laugh at old jokes that no longer land, bring up old versions like inside jokes. You do not owe them a correction every time. You only owe yourself the truth.
4. Protect the new season, even when it is lonely
Growth thins your circle before it grows it. Some people will not make the trip with you, and that is not always a loss, sometimes it is just distance revealing itself early.
5. Let time be the witness
You do not need to convince anyone that you have changed. Time is patient that way. It will show them, slowly, whether they are watching or not.
Grace is not just something we give to others when they outgrow a version of themselves. It is something we owe ourselves first, every single time we leave a season behind.
But there are exceptions
Not everything from the old lifestyle deserves to be thrown out. The friendships that were never part of the problem, keep those. The lessons that season taught you, even the painful ones, keep those too.
Some of your personality was never the issue. Your humor, your softness, the way you love people, that is not what needed to change. Do not mistake growth for becoming a stranger to yourself.
Only let go of what was actually working against you. The habits. The version of you that shrunk to fit other people. The rest, you’re allowed to carry forward.
Grace is not just something we give to others when they outgrow a version of themselves. It is something we owe ourselves first, every single time we leave a season behind.