Sold.

For the ones who noticed.

Nobody ever said the advantage of being a woman came with a tax.

Many are told it’s an unfair advantage. That women are naturally intuitive, naturally empathetic, naturally built for the kind of work that moves people. That it should make doors open. It sounds true, and for a moment, it feels like it.

Then reality hits.

The metrics aren’t built for women. Benchmarks aren’t designed with them in mind. The unwritten rules in every room have been written long before anyone arrives. The promised advantage often turns out to be confidence, beautifully packaged, expertly marketed, sold as capital.

It’s not capital.

Capital builds things.

Confidence is what’s felt while waiting for permission to build.

Many are given one and told it’s the other. And for a while, it’s easy to miss the difference.

Confidence is cheaper than power. Easier to market. Women are systematically sold confidence instead of capital. The very industries that promise that advantage often design the rooms they’re supposed to enter.

They give inspiration and call it infrastructure.

They give representation and call it access.

They give a seat at the table and forget to mention the table was never theirs.

So work doubles. Not to prove anything. Not to overcome doubt. But to close the gap between the promises made and the cost of the room. Between the confidence offered and the capital needed to build from scratch.

The advantage was never being a woman.

It was seeing the women who went first. Those who refused the sale before anyone even knew there was one. Those who built new rooms entirely. Who left doors open without making announcements.

The tax is real. The work is real. And so are they.

The advantage is not free. It never was.

But part of it has already been paid for.

The least anyone can do is build something with what was left behind and refuse to sell the next generation confidence when what they truly need is capital.

Happy International Women's Day 🥹❤️

Build something today. Open doors where there were none. Leave a legacy that can’t be sold as confidence. The next generation is waiting. Don’t let them wait any longer.

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My Substack recommendations: 'Lolu Rachael Tovia’s Substack Tovia Ajayi Adeshewa Chineme Toluwanimi Adeeko lina Erioluwa Orenuga